2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
