It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
