He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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