Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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