Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
