He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
