we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
