watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
