it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
