I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
