You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
