well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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