So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
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All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
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Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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