Porn is love you can see.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
