Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
