Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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