you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize