no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
