Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
