So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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