your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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