her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
