dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
