i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
