The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize