Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
