Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
