fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
