and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
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Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
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I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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