where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
