i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
