New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
