I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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