what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
