can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
