Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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