Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
