hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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