And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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