Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
