Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize