JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
