Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
