yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
