the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize