so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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