It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
