i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
