I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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