she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
