Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
