I want to stick my p in your. b.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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