fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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