You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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