you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
