right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
