I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
