you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
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